I don't do your candy-ass flavored vodka, just your regular vodka that everyone can understand; and I don't drink vodka very often. When I do, I'll have a regular vodka martini with some olives, preferably stuffed with bleu cheese or Gorgonzola. (Admittedly a bleu cheese stuffed olive, or--heaven help us--a cocktail onion, floating in an icy pool of vodka makes me positively giddy.)
After having collected the following pix over a couple of years and watching this terrifying trend, I fear I'm becoming something of a dinosaur.
Absolut Citron was probably the first flavored vodka that hit it big in the United States back in the 1980's. So okay, you want your citrus flavored vodka, have your citrus flavored vodka.
But what the hell do you mix with strawberry flavored vodka?
And is there really a difference between orange-flavored Stoli and clementine-flavored Svedka? Not when you mix it with Diet Cherry Coke, sugartits.
Behold yet another nuance, your orange whipped vodka, which is just one selection in a positively terrifying line up that makes monstrosities such as a chocolate chip pancake martini possible.
Are you kidding me?
Liqueur used to be sophisticated, people.
You chose a Tia Maria, Drambuie or Benedictine, not some goddamn dessert. I mean COME ON. Pineapple upside down cake is not an after-dinner drink. It's something your Aunt Edna brings to the Memorial Day Picnic every year.
Well well well, straight to the whipped creme and bubble gum.
Bubble gum, eh? Really? All you booze hawkers need to take a look behind your backs. That there's Joe Camel grazing in the pasture, you rat bastards.
Do you candy asses want to have a goddamn drink, or a graham cracker?
I swear I should be in charge.
This is some sort of alcohol-infused whipped crap. No comment, just this:
Apparently this darling flavor trend is sneaking into the world of beer. Say Lime-A-Rita out loud. Go ahead, do it.
Is that bullshit or what? Lie. Muh. Ree. Tuh. GAWD.
But oh would you look at that ... talk about your pure Goat love.
Enough is enough. Happy Friday. I'm off to find a bottle of this.
Love, Erin
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